rant

Herrliche Jahre?

Saturday, February 9th, 2013

Yesterday was crazy. The tickets for Kaizers Orchestra’s “last concert” went on sale. 6000 tickets. Which were sold out after 8 minutes. I still don’t believe that – not sure if the black market works the same in Norway as in Germany, but if it does, I guess we’ll see lots and lots of tickets on ebay and qxl the next weeks and months. If it doesn’t, I’ve underestimated that band. I mean, 6000 tickets for a concert that was officially announced only one day before?! And actually, 6000 tickets for that one concert. 15.000 including the additional concerts by now. 😮

Yes, the marketing was perfect – create a huge uproar the day before about quitting and the possibly last concert and so on, so people get hyped up just in time … but still, getting people to actually buy tickets the next morning at 9 am sharp is a different story … I’m really not sure what to make out of that.

But actually, that wasn’t really what I wanted to blog about. The reason for this entry is this article. I read it on Thursday night already, and it upset me. Not the “getting angry” kind of upset, not at all – more the “starting to cry” kind of upset. Why? I had no idea. It didn’t really contain any surprises for me, but it reflects exactly the roles of the band members as I’ve gotten to know them. And naah, I don’t necessarily see all these statements in the positive way that Aftenbladet depicts them. I guess I’m reading between the lines, which might be wrong, but might be right as well. I agree with most of what is said, it reflects what I expected, I’d love to say “sounds good” but I feel sorry for some “not gonna work” parts (and hope that I’m wrong). I certainly know the feeling of wanting (and needing) to get away. (Even though I wouldn’t mind the ordinary job. *g* So if you have a job for me in Norway, let me know. 😉 ) But the statement that I did not like at all was Terje’s.

– Hva gjør du etter 14. september?

– Først og fremst gleder jeg meg til å leve livet på familiens premisser. Nå må alt planlegges ut fra Kaizers, og jeg ser fram til litt mer frihet. Skambankt blir prioritert. Vi skal i studio i Oslo to dager etter den siste Kaizers-konserten. Ellers har jeg ganske blanke ark, men et par tråder som jeg skal se om det blir noe mer ut av.

– Hva vil du savne når Kaizers legges på is?

– Vi er blitt en familie, og jeg vil savne både bandet og de folkene rundt. Vi kommer nok ikke til å se hverandre så mye, og selv om jeg er klar for en pause vil jeg garantert savne samholdet.

It’s weak. It’s contradictory – “Everything had to be planned according to band A, so now priority goes to band B” – that’s phony. Say what you mean, be honest. Say “Janove is the boss, I can’t stand it, I want to be the boss.” The same with the statement about the band. Yes, you’re listing the good parts. And you’re leaving out the …

*pang*

Wait. Sudden realization.

I worked in a fan club of a huge German band for the last five years. It was a lot of work. There were a lot of great, amazing times, incredible, breathtaking experiences. There were bad times. Fights, anger, desperation. More good times. We created something huge. It was an amazing time, yet it broke my heart. Broke our hearts. It’s impossible to describe that feeling if you haven’t been there. It went out with a bang, and it had to, because we had put in all we had to give and were drained. Looking back hurts, but at the same time, you can’t help but smile because of all the fantastic memories.

Looking at Terje’s statement with these eyes suddenly makes me understand. Substitute a few words, and I could have said just the same. It’s not contradictory … of course you can do what you enjoy after you get rid of what is draining you. I mean, it’s not like what I’m doing with my Kaizers fansite is any different from what I was doing for Die Ärzte – but it’s Kaizers, not Die Ärzte, and they still have my whole heart …

And the second statement – is it honest? Yep, for sure. I’d say just the same about the fan club. Of course there’s shadows, blemishes, but it’s the love for the team that prevails. The negatives might leave their shadows, but it’s nothing you’d want to communicate. It’s not what counts. It’s the positives you want to remember. Is this dishonest? Maybe, a little, I don’t know. Probably that is what gave me a bad feeling… the feeling of being caught in the act because I would say the same. The negative sides might have a huge part in draining you, but it’s the positives that you want to see, want to share, because they are so much more important.

Probably that statement is the most honest of all the statements. But I wouldn’t blame anyone for being not quite honest, because – of course – there’s always stuff that is not for the public.

If my “transferred understanding” is right, I honestly do not want to know how these last months in Kaizers feel. The mixture of being drained and waiting for it to finally be over, and enjoying every second and looking back on something huge. Depending on which part dominates in the mixture, this can break you. It can make it hard, impossible to look back without seeing the shadows. After a certain point is crossed, everything turns into a task instead of something you want to do. We, the fan club team, crossed that line, and looking back tells me that I would never ever want to go back. Let’s hope Kaizers had a better timing.

Or, to sum up my understanding of the current state in a “rather” (okay, VERY *g*) solemn way:

You’ll have to break our hearts to save yours. Hopefully it’s not too late.